New Year's Resolution for all Orthodox Churches in the USA: Bolt the NCC

I like to read the publications of other Christian confessions and writings of various Christian and non-Christian authors.  I often find gems but lots of crap (I'm sure the same thing can be said of my meager writings here), but I continue to do so simply because in today's world, it does no good for anyone in any faith, Christian or non, especially in a society as religiously pluralistic as ours, to remain ignorant of what others are doing or believing. 

One of the publications I read when it first hits the internet is the ELCA's (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, a liberal Lutheran denomination) publication, The Lutheran.  From my reading, the issues in the publication are generally more human interest stories, e.g. stories of congregations or families.  There is much advocacy for certain social justice issues, e.g. the environment, social welfare projects and some, though not a great amount, of theology.  Oftentimes, the ELCA confuses theology with social justice.  There are some stories about what goes on in other denominations.  And there is always an article submitted by the presiding bishop, who is brand new.  In short, it's not an exhaustive read, but it does give you a pretty good idea of what is important to the ELCA and how it practices and lives its brand of Lutheranism.  It is free on their website and is usually available a few days before the start of the next month.

Kathryn Lohre of the ELCA.  Former NCC President.

While reading January's issue, I read an article by Kathryn Lohre who is a member of the ELCA, its director of inter-religious and ecumenical relations and also a former president of the NCC (National Council of Churches).  People who have read my rantings over these past few years know well my hostility to Orthodox participation in both the NCC and WCC (World Council of Churches). Member churches of the NCC are generally the liberal Protestant mainline churches.  They desperately need the Orthodox to remain involved in the NCC because the Protestant mainline churches are dieing and to give legitimacy to the positions that are blatantly contradictory to traditional Christianity.  It was the NCC's unfettered support for abortion-on-demand, among other things, which caused the Antiochian Orthodox jurisdiction in North America to sever ties with the NCC in 2005.  The Greek Archdiocese and the OCA (Orthodox Church in America) still remain members as well as the Armenian Apostolic Orthodox Church.  I'm not sure about other Orthodox groups.  Why they do is beyond me.

With regards to the article by Kathryn Lohre, which you can read here, the same rallying cries are repeated about how vital the NCC really is.  Any Orthodox Christian who reads this article and who is honest about the faith should come to the conclusion that continued participation in this group by any Orthodox Christian jurisdiction is self-defeating and does nothing to help those who have rejected traditional Christianity to return to their roots.  Here are a couple of tell-tale snippets from this article:

Lohre:  While evangelical, Pentecostal and ethnic churches report significant growth, many of the council’s member churches have been in steady decline over the past few decades.

Response:  At least she's honest, but she doesn't  say why the evangelical, Pentecostal and ethnic churches (i.e. Orthodox, I'm sure as well as other churches that still have some nationality component, e.g. Croatian/Italian/Irish churches) are growing and the mainline churches  are declining.  Of course, she can't come right out and say what the reasons are (liberal social advocacy issues, among others), but that's a big reason, if not the predominant reason.

Lohre:  Many churches, like other institutions, are turning away from top-down approaches and embracing their roles as that of convener.

Response:  This is typical.  When you have a problem, rather than identify it, simply give it another name.  For her, the church is not a place of salvation, a hospital for sinners, but a place to bring people together.  Now, there's nothing wrong with that, but when you make the church only responsible for bringing people together with no particular goal, then is it any wonder why you have 30,000 different interpretations of what God's revelation is to mankind?  Also, notice the slight towards hierarchy.  The ELCA still has bishops, but they don't function with the same kind of oversight that a bishop in the Orthodox Churches has.  The implication is that the church should not only bring people together but be democratic about what it should believe.

Lohre:  Without a doubt, seeking unity in Christ holds renewed purpose in today’s multireligious society where people of other faiths and no faith are our neighbors, co-workers, family and friends.

Response:   What does unity in Christ have to do with what our non-Christian or atheist friends believe and think?  Actually a lot.  There is a divided witness in the world. But she fails to lay out what unity in Christ is.  It is NOT unity of administration, but is Unity of the Faith.  The ELCA are no different than other mainstream liberal Protestants:  whatever you believe is fine. Doctrine is unimportant.  Just believe in god and liberal social advocacy issues and that's enough.    If you believe, though that marriage is between one man and one woman, then you are threatened with excommunication because Jesus would never have said the same thing (sarcasm alert).

Lohre:  A compelling Christian witness that promotes God’s justice, peace and the healing of the world is very much needed in an era of competing voices and visions.

 Response:  God's justice, peace and healing of the world?  Read liberal social values such as gay marriage, no fault divorce, abortion on demand, forced welfare, radical environmentalism, anti-capitalism, etc.    Nothing about Christ's incarnation, death and Resurrection to restore man to God; it's all about liberal advocacy.

Lohre:   But the age-old church-dividing issues, including eucharistic sharing, haven’t been resolved.

 Response:  Yes, it has been resolved.  It's been resolved that Unity of the faith and the unity of schismatics and heretics to the una sancta must happen first before any common reception of the eucharist.  The liberal Protestants just don't get this.  They see unity as merely some joint statement without the underlying unity of the faith.  It's a unity built upon sand.  But they keep insisting they need Eucharistic unity with the Orthodox and Roman Catholics because they know that their churches are dieing.  They know the Orthodox and Catholics have a high theology of the Eucharist.  To get them to break on this issue would be the first domino of many other issues to come.

Lohre:   The council’s future will be defined by how effectively it engages as convener and co-convener of people in local, regional and national settings — weaving a compelling narrative of the movement for Christian unity in all of its expressions and contexts “so that the world may believe” (John 17:21)

 Response:  Again, notice the use of "convener."  The churches are simply buildings to get people together, that's all.  Unity in all its expressions is code for unity of the diversity of opinions.  In other words, all beliefs are tolerated and accepted as Christian, that Christianity represents a widespread diversity of beliefs.  These same people probably view the early councils at Nicaea and Ephesus and Chalcedon as intolerant.  As the Orthodox Church is the Church of the Fathers the emphasis on diversity of belief as acceptable would be a total non starter in any discussion.

Now I will concede that Lohre does not have the time to go into the theology behind a lot of what she has said and I will admit that I am not 100% accurate of what I think are her justifications for writing such general statements.  However, I know Lutherans (I used to be one) and I know ELCA Lutherans and though they are not as monolithic as one might assume them to be, when it comes to ecumenism and the faith, they are not friends to traditional Christians and not to the Orthodox.  I know how they think.

Orthodox hierarchs, priests, monks and laity involved in any discussions with the ELCA or any other liberal Protestant confession who is a member of the NCC should be well aware of the heresy and schism that the NCC member churches openly declare for.  The NCC is nothing more than common statements affirming such heretical views.  The Orthodox Church, to them, is like the tribal elder that the young ones need approval from even though they despise that elder and speak ill of him when he's not around.  Continued dialogue with the NCC or its member churches is futile and should cease.  They're not interested in the Orthodox position on anything. They only want our name affixed to their organization to give them legitimacy.  Their fruits have betrayed them.  So, for this new year, I beg the other Orthodox Churches to end their relationship with the NCC once and for all.  Get out now.

Reflections on the first week--The Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete

We have now entered into the contest, into the struggle, into the fight to repent of our sins and follow Christ's journey to Gologotha where His sacrifice of His very self has brought unto us life. This first week, John the Forerunner and Christ's single word that summed up their ministry--Repent!--is at the head of every liturgical service in the Orthodox Church. And no where else in Orthodox hymnography is the subject of repentance so dominant, so beautifully laid out as to why it is not only necessary but also liberating than in the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete.

I need not go into the various irmoi or troparia of this particular canon but I want to share an incident that happened in conversation with me during the week. At my parish, during the first week, on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday we chant Great Compline with the Canon of St. Andrew. On Wednesday, we celebrate the presanctified Liturgy. We will not return to the canon again until the fifth week of Great Lent. Great Compline with the Canon (even if only 1/4 of it) along with a Gospel reading appointed during only the first week makes this a very long and involved service. It clocks in regularly at about 2 hours, but what a wonderful two hours it is. Unforunately, not everyone feels the same way and I shouldn't expect them to but I was taken aback by a comment made to me by a parishioner when he remarked that the chanting of the canon was not necessary because it not only made the service too long (a complaint we get from too many parishioners, mostly older ones) and because the Canon can be summed up in seven words: "I have sinned, Jesus. Have mercy upon me." There was no need to have all these Biblical, both Old and New Testament, exempla to demonstrate this very fact. I didn't know how to respond so I just shrugged it off and went about my business. I wanted to say, "If you're going to complain, don't come" but such would not be in the spirit of the season and that would be a retort more for a priest to his flock than a lowly non-tonsured chanter to give.

That night I went home to think about this question. To be honest, the man had a point: if the canon is meant to draw attention to our sin, why do we need the Bible lesson about other sinners? And the answer came to me as I was rereading +Fr. Alexander Schmemann's Great Lent. I read this book every year for Lent and I always discover and rediscover something new. And this was definitely something new. Schmemann says that such a question represents a fundamental misunderstanding of sin.

Sin is not just something that happens to us. Sin is nothing. It is an absence of good. It is an absence of God. Sin is the very mark that we, as a race, are alienated from God. Our individual sins are not new. As Solomon once said, "There is nothing new under the sun." Our sins are those of the harlot, the publican, the pharisee, the persecutor Saul, Lamech, Cain, Adam, Eve, David, Joseph's brothers, the blind man, etc. Now, we may not all be adulterers or thieves or murderers or slave traffickers but it makes no difference. Sin is a contagion that infects the entire human race; it diminishes our health. Our inherited corruption (not guilt) makes us immediate kin to such great sinners as Saul, Adam, Eve, David, the harlot. Their sins are our sins because we are of the same stock.

The question also reveals that we, particularly as Americans, are so self-centered and individualistic that we think that our sins couldn't possibly be connected to anyone or anything else. I'm sure that someone would respond that such an approach reveals Americans' prerogative to take personal responsibility and maybe there is some truth in that. Yes, take responsibility and confess your sins, but don't think for a moment that your humanity is different from everyone else's; it isn't. We may fall individually, but the cause of that fall is universal and our salvation is also universal.

Finally, the question also reveals that so many of us treat sin not as something inherently corrupting or destroying but as an inconvenience that can be soothed over by the church acting more as psychotherapist/life coach than as a physician for people who are ill. Sin is regarded as a weakness to which the cure is to toughen up or mask it so that it doesn't appear to actually affect us. The truth of the matter is that for many people, sin doesn't affect them or they don't actually realize it does. They see it as something perennially there and hopefully a little confession will get them "in order" for Pascha. The cure of repentance will not even be tried.

Keep in mind that this question came not to me from a Protestant or Catholic, but an Orthodox Christian. I don't know much about this particular person but I know he has been Orthodox much longer than I, possibly from birth. However long is irrelevant. What this demonstrates is that the Orthodox churches, her clergy, her teachers, her families, her laity face a huge battle in our own flock. I'm not sure how to address it and to treat it. We should not stop what we are doing liturgically and we cannot force people to attend and we cannot force people to change their mind with regards to what sin really is.

Salvation: Protestant vs. Orthodox

Using chairs to illustrate the difference of Protestant and Orthodox soteriology. My thanks to Fr. Joseph Honeycutt for providing the link on his website, Orthodixie. If you do want to contact Steven Robinson (which he encourages you to do), you may do so here.

Greek Church will stand up to the secularism of Europe

The Holy Orthodox Church of Greece will convene its Holy Synod next week to address the fallout and consequences of the recent EU Court of Human Rights' decision to remove any crucifixes from all Italian schoolrooms for fear that the display of such a prominent symbol of Christianity violates the freedom of religion of students who do not subscribe to Catholic Christainity or Christainity in any form.

Already, in Greece, a group calling itself the Helsinki Monitor is already using the Strasbourg decision as precedent and pushing the Greek government to remove icons of Christ the judge which hang in courtrooms and prevent witnesses from swearing on the Gospels to tell the truth as well as remove other religious symbols from Greek schools.

I'm hopeful that Greece will not bend to pressure from the European Union and that the Church there will stand up for what is true freedom of religion. But, then again, I don't expect the Europeans to have anything close to what we have here in the states (at least now) regarding freedom of religion. I really like this quote from Archbishop IERONYMOUS:

It is not only minorities that have rights but majorities as well.

May the Church be successful in her efforts to defend the Truth.

So why did you become Orthodox?--Part III: Inquiry, conversion, journey

In July of 2005, I attended my first Orthodox service, a Great Vespers at St. Mary Antiochian Orthodox Church. I remember that the building was primarily empty. I saw a woman chanter (later my friend, Holly Walsh) at the stand in front of the pews, but what I mainly remember was the icon screen in front of the Church. I had no idea what this was or why it was there. I just remember that this style of church architecture was nothing I had ever seen before. I was full of questions and of wonder. Later on, a person in a black robe introduced himself as Aaron Warwick. He also was a chanter. He invited me to stay afterwards and meet the priest and I said I would.

I had no idea what I was in for. I just remember the beauty of it all, the chanting, the prayers, the incense. I was particularly stricken by how much of the hymnography revolved around the psalter. You hear selections from the first kathisma of the psalter (Psalms 1-8), then the complete recitation of psalms 140, 141, 129 and 116 with hymns dedicated to the crucifixion/resurrection of Christ as well as hymns to the saint. It was constant prayer, no breaks. There was something very ancient about this mode of prayer. Of course, I was following as well as I could with the service book but not knowing what quite to expect. From my western liturgical upbringing, which, unfortunately, rarely, if ever, included the celebration of Vespers I was struggling to find things I recognized. The only thing I found was the canticle of Saint Symeon, which we in the West call the "Nunc Dimittis," "Lord now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace." The rest of it was completely new. I also was not used to having no organ play. Everything was chanted in a plainsong which I later learned was called Byzantine.

The service concluded. It was less than an hour and Aaron introduced me to Fr. Don Hock. I had a host of questions, but I remember that one of the first I asked regarded whether the Orthodox were in communion with Rome. At the time, I seemed to think that communion was Rome and fidelity to the pope was absolutely necessary. Fr. Don answered negatively, but that was not a deal breaker. For the first time, in a long time, if ever, I found a worshipping community, a church inundated with a long and living tradition of prayer, free from innovation and the emotionalism that has come to dominate western expressions of Christianity. Such was my first experience with Eastern Orthodoxy. It was not to be my last. But my days with the Lutheran Church were drawing to an abrupt halt.

Aaron made it a point to keep in touch with me and I appreciated it. He invited me to more of the services especially as the Feast of the Transfiguration was approaching. I thanked him but replied I was going to my cousin's wedding in Minnesota. I did ask what I could be reading to further my inquries and he recommended to me two books both by the same author "The Orthodox Church" and "The Orthodox Way" both by Timoty Ware, himself a convert to Orthodoxy, who later became Bishop KALLISTOS in England. I took these two books with me on my trip to Minnesota adn the more I read, the more I knew I could no longer be Lutheran. I was struck by not only the historicity of the Church, which I considered an important criterion for the true church, but also by its mysticism and its central focus on prayer. I found it striking that, unlike the Catholic Church and other western expressions of
Christianity, there was no need to dogmatize everything. It's not that the faith was left to choice or individual conscience, but that there was a strong lex orandi, lex credendi where the "law of prayer is the law of faith." In other words, the prayers are the faith and there is no need to go further than that.

I was filled with zealousness. Too much as a matter of fact. On my trip to Minnesota for my cousin's wedding, I began to find every fault I could with the Lutheran Church. My cousin was married in an ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) church and his wife was going to be a minister in the ELCA. Although the ELCA and the LCMS have many doctrinal differences, there is still a more or less settled truce which allows members to receive the eucharist in services of the other. I refused. My dad did, too, but only, and correctly, because he regards the ELCA as heretical. My mom and my sister both received and I remember that they asked why I did not. All I could was respond that I was becoming Orthodox and that my Lutheranism was behind me. Unfortunately, my desire for Orthodoxy was not tempered by humility but I became arrogant with the knowledge that I was now pursuing correct doctrine and the correct faith and that everything else should either conform to it or be shunned. I know better now.

I returned to Nebraska to begin my second year at Bellevue East, but Sundays were now different for me. Rather than trying to wake up early to get to Lamb of God Lutheran Church by 8:00 am, I now woke up at the same time and headed to St. Mary's where I first attended Orthros at 8:45 and then the Divine Liturgy at 10:00. I still continued my attendance at Saturday Vespers as well. But, I didn't know what to do. As I said earlier, Vespers was attended by only a handful of people. I found that the same was true of Orthros (Matins). Hardly anyone came to this service, but I immediately became enamored with it. It became my favorite service to go to and I learned some of the hymns and started chanting it, from my seat in the very back, with the chanters in the back. My favorite was the Evlogetaria, the Hymn of Resurrection sung every Sunday (well, most every Sunday). I loved the melody and I loved the text. I don't think I ever heard the centrality of the Gospel, the Resurrection of Christ, both God and man, which we may partake of at the end as well.
But, I still was largely in the dark as to what was going on. I didn't know anyone there and the one person I did know was at the chanter's stand.

The Liturgy began and again, I really didn't know what was going on. Though there was a book in the pew about the Liturgy, the whole essence of what was going on could not be described by the texts or the music, the various times when the sign of the cross was made or when it was appropriate to stand or sit (though I learned later that the correct posture for prayer is always to be standing). I know that I couldn't even begin to understand what was going on and that only with a lot more attendance at these Liturgies could that happen. At the end of the Liturgy, instead of people just simply leaving, they came up forward to kiss and reverence a cross that the priest held. I admit I was uncomfortable with this, not because I didn't reverence the cross (I very much did) but the idea of kissing a holy object was totally foreign to me. But I did it and it felt very natural. Fr. Don then invited me to come back for coffee hour and to set up an appointment with him to talk some more.

Over the course of the next couple of months, I regularly attended the full cycle of Vespers on Saturdays, then Orthros followed by Liturgies on Sundays. I loved being engaged in a church life that was totally devoted to worship of the One God in Trinity. Trinitarian invocations and doxologies were said or chanted a myriad of times during these services. It confused me. Also confusing was the numerous repetitions of phrases such as "Lord, have mercy" or "In the name of the Father, Son and HOly Spirit" etc.. This was clearly a more mystical approach to theology that I had never considered because it was just not part of mine growing up. Helping me through all this confusion was the continued guidance of the chanter, Aaron Warwick and his wife Gwen. The two of them were very generous towards me, frequently inviting me over to their place for dinner. I was also starting to make other friends in the parish such as Dr. Mike Kutayli, Jessica Mannion and Rachel Ream. With the exception of Dr. Mike, all these people were converts to the Orthodox faith and so it was comforting to know that I wasn't the only one in this situation.

Beginning in late October, I went to my first catechism class. The purpose of this class was to instruct those who wished to be received into the faith. These were held on Sundays after coffee hour and went for hours at a time. Whenever I went to one of these at the Lutheran church, such a class was always held to one hour. Such was not the case here. We would discuss things for hours. I meticulously took notes and read as much as I could. I also started to try pryaer in the Eastern tradition. I picked up a copy of the Holy Transfiguration Monastery Prayer book, which Aaron recommended. It was very odd and very different. The repetitions were still there and the prayers were nothing like I had ever prayed before. For so long, I had been searching out the right words with which to call upon the Lord and I had at last found them. The language was a little difficult to get around but I sensed not only the antiquity in these words but the profound theological debt. I also started to collect icons for my private devotional life.

As I started to learn and grow in the faith, I also started to become arrogant. I had found the true faith, the true church, thus, everyone needs to know and everyone needs to believe as I do and if you don't, your're wrong, plain and simple. When I went home for Christmas, I first went to Christmas Eve services at the Lutheran Church with my parents and all I could do was complain about how backward and irreverent it all seemed and said that the Orthodox faith was nothing like this. I also remember that as I went into the sanctuary, I made three metanoias, which I should not have done. One of the parishioners called this "garbage." Wow! I had no idea that showing reverence and feaer of God would ever be considered "garbage." However, on closer inspection, I realize that what I did could only have brought attention to myself, which I know I didn't want. Since Lutheranism is part of the western tradition, I should have, instead, simply knelt and made the sign of the cross. After that, I went to the OCA parish which began it's celebration at 10:00 pm. And it was magnificent. There was such great singing. I even got to witness a whole family received into the Orthodox Church. I knew that is what I would be going through soon.

I celebrated Christmas with the rest of my family and then went back to Omaha. I continued on my journey and then I entered into the great and holy fast preparing for the Lord's Pascha (what the Orthodox call Easter). FAsting was difficult for me simply because I had never done it before. I asked Fr. Don what I should do and he said that I should gradually and steadfastly practice a limited fast of maybe only two days a week. At the same time, I was always reminded that fasting was not the goal, but the means to a goal--becoming like Christ and partaking of His nature. So, I tried that and I increased my prayers for aid in this time of repentance. The thing which struck me was the massive increase of services during Great Lent. When I was Lutheran I remember that during Lent only one service would be added a week. During the first week of Great Lent, there was something every day of the first week! It was magnificent.

During the first week of Great Lent, I went to the service of Great Compline. I looked forward to the chanting of "God is with us" from Isaiah in tone 6. Later on, there was the chanting of the Great Canon by St. Andrew of Crete, a long poem composed by a sixth century saint about repentance. The words bit me and stung hard because, from these words, taken from the whole corpus of Scripture, I realized that nothing I have done could even be called repentance, but, at the same time, I should not fear because of God's great gift in the form of His only begotten Son that whatever repentance I lack, he makes it sufficient. That does not excuse me from repenting since, one of the things I learned in catechism class was that we work with God in our salvation. This was in stark contrast to Lutheranism which held that one can do nothing for his own salvation, that everything is dependent upon God, that man has nothing good in him. This is mainly an inheritance from St. Augustine who believed that man's goodness from creation was totally destroyed with the first sin of Adam. But such is not the Orthodox belief, which holds that man's goodness was blackened and made corrupt but not utterly so. Thus, there is something left within us, very small to be sure, which we can draw upon to work with God. It's not about percentages though. It's not like God does 90% of the work and I 10% or anything else. It's not about numbers, but we are called to work with God as St. Paul tells us "to work out your salvation with fear and trembling." We do have responsibility, but at the same time our weakness is perfected by God and that is why He came in the flesh to die.

As I progressed through Lent, I was growing ever more excited and more nervous. I didn't think I was doing enough. I didn't think I had prepared myself enough or had done all the right rituals. I was still in the mindset that the faith was about checklists and doing certain things that needed to be fulfilled before progressing to the next step. I was told repeatedly by Fr. Don, Aaron and Gwen that such was not the case. I tried to believe that but I still had difficulties. Aaron and Gwen decided to have some fun with this. I chose them both to be my godparents/sponsors for the Orthodox faith. So, they started telling me that I had to do all sorts of different things to prepare. One of them was that I had to wear all white for my chrismation. Of course, I didn't have anything all white so I went nuts trying to find an actual white suit. Of course, Gwen and Aaron were laughing their asses off at what I was trying to do.

As I continued to go through Lent and my catechism classes, one of the things that I had to do before Holy Week and my chrismation was make confession to Fr. Don. I was not looking forward to this at all. I remembered when I made confessions to Fr. Houser when I was a Lutheran, but I knew this would be different. This would be a complete enumeration (or as close to it as possible) of the sins of my life. I spent hours going over some Scriptures that are appointed to be read before confessing, reading questions I should ask myself, praying to not be ashamed or hold anything back. I made a complete list. It was five pages long (and I still have it!), single spaced. I made my confession, reading from this list, and my eyes welled up with tears. I knew I was a sinful being, but I had no idea that this lifetime of sins would be so much and so overwhelming. Like many people, I tend to view sin as something inevitable in human life and so you begin ignoring them. But as I knelt there, before the icon of the Transfiguration of our Lord with Fr. Don standing before me, I wept and I filled my face with tears. After so long, I realized that all of these "little sins" had amounted to, indeed, a great amount. These tiny drops of water formed a pool! I was ashamed and I was embarassed. Fr. Don said that he felt blessed to hear my confession. How can a priest possibly be blessed to hear a confession like mine?! But, after he gave me absolution, I realized that Fr. Don was a man to whom I really could tell anything. I felt comfortable with him. After absolution, he embraced me as his spiritual son and I continued on my way towards Pascha. And, for the first time in a long time, I felt clean and free. I especially felt free from the guilt I was still carrying from Sara's suicide, which I still blamed myself for.

Holy Week arrived and again the number of services increased. There was something every morning and every evening. At all of these services, the catechumens were brought up and prayed for. I needed all the prayers I could get.

I cannot go into the depth of all the services I witnessed especially on Thursday and Friday nights. I have never experienced the passion of our Lord so profoundly as I did on these days. It is such a rich tradition that one can only experience for himself what goes on.

HOly Saturday came, the day of my chrismation and reception into the Orthodox Church. I prayed the night before and the morning before the service that I would be made worthy to receive the life giving body and blood of my Lord and God and Saviour. I think I looked ridiculous, though. Still heeding Gwen and Aaron's words, I wore my charcoal suit with a white shirt and a white tie. It looked stupid, but I did so because I still believed, thanks to their influence, that I had to wear all white. Gwen and Aaron were both laughing. Typical. The service was long and it was inspiring. I was given the seal of the Holy Spirit upon my head, my eyes, my lips, my hands, my feet. Every time this was done, the word "Seal!" was shouted by the congregation. It gave me chills. It gave me a lot of chills, actually. Did I know what I was doing?

Finally the time came when I received the Eucharist. I had been without the Lord's body and blood for a long time and I was wondering what would be different. Would it taste different? Would it transform me? Would I start to glow? I'm serious about those questions. But I received it and there was no physical change, but, if anything it made me realize that this was something worth waiting and preparing for.

At the end of the Liturgy, the other catechumens and I came up to the front of the church where we were blessed again and "God grant you many years" was sung to us. I broke down in tears because I had finally come to my spiritual home. It took a long time, but I was so happy to have finally arrived.

But the journey has not ended. I still continue to grow and I still continue to stumble and fall. Being Orthodox is not a "get out of sinning free" card. I still have many temptations and passions that I wrestle with on a daily basis. Orthodoxy is a life and it is a difficult life to follow in spirit and truth. I have made more than my share of mistakes and I will continue to do so. I was told in catechism class that the Holy Fathers always viewed the Church as a hospital. Here, in the Orthodox Church, are all the tools, physicians and medicines to make one truly healed.

Glory to God for all things!